


The Multiverse Is A Scary Place

by notanightlight



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Abuse of the English Language, Gen, Humor, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7621939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notanightlight/pseuds/notanightlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason has been to some pretty screwed up places in the multiverse while searching for Ray Palmer, but this one my take the cake.  Set during Jason's trip to the multiverse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Multiverse Is A Scary Place

**Author's Note:**

> Finally decided to migrate this story from my old LJ account over here. This piece was originally posted to LJ on 9/21/2010 and is honestly probably my favorite of my old fics.
> 
> Spoilers at the bottom.

Jason’s first thought was that he hated interdimensional travel. His second was how weird his life had become for that to seem normal.  
  
Blinking the haze out of his vision, he made a quick visual sweep of the area. It appeared he’d wound up lying in an alleyway in Gotham. Not _his_ Gotham, of course, but _a_ Gotham. A rather clean one in comparison, actually. He didn’t see any sign of Donna or Bob anywhere. Oh yeah, no sign of the annoying guy with the magical jewelry either… ass.  
  
They had better find Palmer soon, he was starting to get really unsettled by all these parallel worlds. Images of the vampire universe flickered through his mind. That had to be the most disturbing incarnation of his world he’d ever see.  
  
He was just picking himself up off the oddly clean ground when a shadow dropped down in front of him; a very colorful one. The young teen was dressed in mask, tunic, cape, and green scalloped short pants. Apparently Dick was still Robin in this universe.  
  
The boy wonder extended a hand to him with a smile, “ **Hello**.” Jason took it with suspicion as he was helped to his feet, but his reply was cut off as the boy continued. “Greetings!” Jason raised an eyebrow, brushing a bit of dirt off his jacket.  
  
Dick studied him with open curiosity. “Are you **alright**? Are you physically unharmed? It’s **alright** for you to tell me. It’s okay for you to tell me whether or not you’re **alright**.”  
  
“I’m… fine?” so apparently Dick was a little bit… off in this universe. The teen continued to stare at him expectantly. An awkward silence began to build between them as Dick patiently waited for him to… elaborate?  
  
“What!?” Jason bit out, quickly becoming exasperated.  
  
Dick seemed somewhat confused but continued smiling.  
  
“My **name** is Robin,” oh great, they were onto introductions, “Robin is what I’m known by. Can you **name** where you’re from? Can you tell me the place?”  
  
“That makes no sense!” Jason knew that flailing his arms wasn’t helping, but it made him feel a bit better, “Why the hell would I tell you that?”  
  
“You talk **weird** ,” Dick responded, eyebrows raised in shock, “You don’t talk normal! Why do you talk so **weird**?”  
  
Jason just barely resisted the urge to shake the boy.  
  
He was saved from another outburst by the familiar figure of his once mentor descending from the sky. He didn’t think it was possible for him to be this relieved by Batman’s presence. That is, until he spoke.  
  
“Robin, I was **worried** about you. I was concerned about you. I was **worried** because I didn’t know where you were. You shouldn’t make me **worry** like that. You shouldn’t make me feel so anxious. Next time tell me where you are.”  
  
Jason felt his jaw drop.  
  
“I’m sorry, but I met this **strange** man,” Dick replied, all innocence and repetition, “He is very weird. I’ve seen many **strange** things but he is even **stranger**!”  
  
“You know you shouldn’t talk to **strangers** , Robin.” Bruce mildly scolded, finger shake and all, “You shouldn’t talk to people you don’t know. **Strangers** can be dangerous.”  
  
This… this was wrong. Very wrong. Jason was certain that if he looked up ‘wrong’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of this universe next to it.  
  
“Besides, Superman **called** us. Superman used the phone to contact us,” Bruce continued, “He tried to **call** Ollie and Hal, but they couldn’t come. They were busy with a **duck**.”  
  
“They were taking care of an aquatic fowl?” Robin asked.  
  
“Wait,” Jason cut in, this was getting to be too much, “an _actual_ duck?”  
  
This really had to be some kind of joke.  
  
“Yes,” Batman confirmed with a nod, “Hal spotted it while sniffing a **flower**. He loves blossoming plants.”  
  
Jason’s eye twitched.  
  
“What does he need our **help** for? With what does Superman need our assistance?” Dick asked, oblivious to Jason’s mounting mental trauma.  
  
“Lex Luthor stole **forty** cakes.” Batman said with an air of deep seriousness.  
  
“That’s as many as four tens!” Robin exclaimed in horror.  
  
“And that’s terrible.” They finished in unison.  
  
“Get me the hell out of this mad house!!!”  
  
  
  
  
  
END. (Completion of the story.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> I blame the Super Dictionary.
> 
>  
> 
> (References made to: Donna Troy, "Bob" the Monitor, Kyle Rayner the Green Lantern, Ray Palmer the former Atom, "Ollie" Oliver Queen the Green Arrow, Hal Jordan the Green Lantern. This takes place during Countdown, during which Jason, Donna, Kyle, and "Bob" go searching throughout the multiverse for Ray Palmer who is supposed to be the key to surviving the Crisis. During which Jason also visits Earth-43, in which Jason witnesses a Vampire Batman forcibly turn Dick Grayson into a Vampire. It is messed up.)


End file.
